Becoming a Deep Listener with Oscar Trimboli

Aug 28, 2018

Joining Kevin on the Higher Purpose Podcast is Oscar Trimboli - a mentor, leadership coach, speaker, and the author of Deep Listening: Impact Beyond Words. Oscar has an outstanding track record of helping leaders become even more impactful leaders by teaching them the complex yet fulfilling act of deep listening. Today’s focus is how to grow beyond the trenches of average listening and learn how to harness the power of pause for effective communication.

• Fun fact: Oscar was already an adult when he first learned to swim. His wife had challenged him to swim in the ocean, and although adamant, he was determined to give this challenge a shot.
• He had 2 coaches to help him prepare for the big swim, a swimming pool coach and a surf coach. Within weeks of training, he had learned how to swim well enough to go 2 kilometers in the pool. But when he hit the ocean, he struggled to make 40 meters, which didn't make sense to his coach at first, since he had been doing most of the techniques right. Except for one vital micro skill - proper breathing.
• He had been swimming 2 kilometers without following proper breathing techniques this whole time. He had been struggling in the surf because he "heard" his coach's instructions, but didn't actually "listen" to them.
• So, Oscar and his surf coach worked to bridge this disconnect by asking the right questions, narrowing the down the variables, and communicating how they were going to achieve the goal together. More training ensued, micro skills relearned.
• The result? He finally swam in the ocean. It’s amazing how aside from learning how to swim, he had also acquired valuable life lessons that would change his perception as a leader, learner, and listener. Everything you learn in life is connected with your higher purpose in some way, all you have to do to connect the dots is to listen for the instructions.
• In case you didn’t know, an average person listens 50% a day, and leaders listen to about 80% a day - with only 2% trained in deep listening. You may be wondering, “Why is there a huge gap in listening capabilities?”
• Oscar explains that hearing is our birthright, it's the first sense that gets developed while we’re in our mother’s womb, and the last sense that shuts down when we die. So, hearing in many ways is the beginning and the end, but the distinction between hearing and listening is, listening is an intention you set before you commence, whereas hearing is instinctive.
• Hearing is about processing sounds. Listening is an intention to make sense of what the sounds are. Think of hearing as seeing in black and white, and listening as viewing the world in full color!

• But whether you’re listening at 50% or 80%, you’ll find great inspiration in today’s unusual podcast flow. Especially since Oscar's book, Deep Listening, will take center stage in this conversation. The book, touches on several Deep Listener concepts such as: the power of pause, the 125:400 rule, the 5 levels of listening.

An Extraordinary Experiment

Thank you for listening to this episode of the Higher Purpose Podcast. Remember, if you ever

think that your work could be less ordinary, there’s not much between you and something

extraordinary. Just 13 weeks, and a bold experiment. Find out more about the Extraordinary

Experiment here!

Oscar Trimboli

Website

Deep Listening: Impact Beyond Words

LinkedIn

Resources

Arlene Dickinson

Speaker & Listener Breathing Synchronization Study

Speaker-listener Neural Coupling